Archive for October, 2008

I Can Be Outraged Too!

I feel compelled to complain to the BBC about the cruel mockery, in Fawlty Towers, of Spanish speaking migrant workers.

It is high time that the BBC prevented this sort of thing from happening in the past.

Clearly I would have complained at the time of broadcast back in 1975 but I was not aware of the outrage I would have felt, had I been watching it then, up until recently, when I saw a rerun on UK Gold.

From what I understand it was originally screened on BBC Two in the early evening. This is entirely unacceptable in my opinion.

I demand that the creator of this racist filth and anyone involved in its portrayal be executed and that the BBC pay Spain a fine of at least €1,000,000.

This is probably the only thing that would enable me to sleep at night knowing that racist, so called, ‘comedy’ like this had at some point been created.

What’s more Aubrey Singer, who I believe was controller of BBC Two at the time, should be exhumed and his corpse made to give a public apology.

Death cannot be tolerated as an excuse for allowing this sort of filth onto our television screens 33 years ago.

It is high time the BBC and its disgusting former performers and controllers realised that the very fabric of space and time itself is liable to rip apart should this sort of thing be allowed to happen at unspecified dates in the past.

Brand And Ross: Enemies Of The People

Another week and another ridiculous overblown hoo-hah in the press about some poor sod or other.

This week it’s the turn of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross to be on the receiving end of the tabloid press’ moral indignation. How journalists can consider themselves moral is beyond me, still that’s a rant for another day.

As you are no doubt aware by now, given that it’s the top story on every news channel at the moment (wonder if Al Jazeera have covered it?), Russell Brand had Jonathan Ross on his Radio 2 show and they left Andrew Sachs a series of rather misjudged and ill advised answer phone messages.

The gist of it is that Andrew Sachs was due to give an interview on Brand’s show but for one reason or another when he was called they got his answer phone, Brand being Brand and Ross being Ross this lead to an ideal opportunity for a spot of tomfoolery. Let’s be honest though it’s kind of what you expect from a stand up comic who hosts a radio show, we’re not talking about Jimmy Young here are we?

Unfortunately the message got out of hand very quickly and three things happened.

  1. Ross said ‘fucked’.
  2. It was made clear that Brand had slept with Sach’s granddaughter.
  3. An impromptu and bawdy song was sung about the liaison into Sach’s answer phone.

I happened to hear it live and whilst I didn’t think it was the funniest thing I’d ever heard, I didn’t think it was anything that anyone should have lost their job over.

Of course the media being the media were falling over themselves to expose Brand for the filthmongering, sex obsessed, junkie scum bag he so clearly is. I half expect to wake up and read calls for Ross to have his tongue cut out and for Brand to be castrated!

So far the result of all this has been:

  • Russell Brand has resigned.
  • Lesley Douglas has resigned as controller of Radio 2.
  • Jonathan Ross has been suspended for 12 weeks.
  • Gordon Brown has made a statement about it.
  • Amazingly, despite the answer phone message, the world still continues to spin on its axis.

That the show only garnered two complaints at the time of its broadcast, yet has since received over 37,000, stands as testament to the media circus that has developed. Of course most of that can be attributed to the Mail On Sunday’s front page article about it. I think the very fact that only 0.00003% of complaints were received from actual listeners speaks volumes.

Meanwhile Georgina Baillie, the outraged granddaughter in question (you’ll probably know her best as Voluptua from the Satanic Sluts), is rubbing her hands in anticipation of the deals she’ll receive as a result of the publicity.

Judging by the number of videos of her on the news sites already (every one of them with her droning on about how outraged she is, whilst at the same time maintaining her doe eyed, smoky makeup, big-titted temptress look), she’s milking it for every last drop.

All the publicity seems like quite a good return on her initial investment of letting Brand fuck her because he was famous. Of course her new line is that,

I will be speaking to him [Sachs] to ask whether we should complain to the police and we’ll be making the decision as a family.

Oh come on! Let’s put this in perspective, no one died nothing in that call was malicious, stupid yes, malicious no. Is this the best use of police time? Do you think the CPS should even entertain this?

What’s more all of Baillie’s comments around the event are so hollow it’s unbelievable. That they’re being given any form of credence at all astonishes me! The best I’ve come across so far is this belter on the news that Brand and Ross had been suspended.

I’m really happy with the investigation. Me and my grandad are both really happy because it could have damaged our reputation permanently.

Sorry love? Your reputation? What reputation would this be? Your reputation as a woman who flashes her flange for money? Is that the reputation you concerned about damaging?

Please.

I do have a great deal of sympathy for Andrew Sachs, it wasn’t a nice message, I wouldn’t have liked to receive it. At the end of it all though everyone has admitted it was stupid and apologised for it, on top of which Sachs has accepted the apologies. There is no reason for this to be getting the attention it is.

The call that’s causing the outrage is transcribed after the jump if you fancy reading it.
Continue reading ‘Brand And Ross: Enemies Of The People’

A Special Message For Kate

Kate you need to read this Benjamin Wachs article.

I await your comments on this matter.

Edge. Just A Little Too Pretentious

I’ve always liked reading Edge, it’s got a more mature outlook on gaming and treats it with the same level of respect that film critics treat their field.

This does of course lead to outrageously pretentious bollocks making its way from mind to paper. Witness this belter from a review of Motorstorm: Pacific Rift where, what they are trying to say is that the ground textures are a little indistinct and are made worse by the use of motion blur.

…which blend into amorphousness mere metres ahead. The problem is only exacerbated by excessive motion blur, further serving to muddy the aesthetic…

Oh, do fuck off.

The writer here clearly felt they had to embellish their writing to the point that it was practically unintelligible.

I like reading Edge but it does have a habit of pulling shit like this from time to time. At least it’s better than Gmaes™ which seems to desperately avoid proof reading and basic grammar in favour release deadlines.

I Found Out Two Things Today

It’s true. Today was a voyage of discovery for me that lead to my uncovering of two amazing gems.

The first is that we have Ronald Reagan to thank for GPS navigation! Well, a point of clarification perhaps, he didn’t invent it but he was responsible for allowing its use by civilians.

After a Korean Airlines flight got lost over Soviet territory and was shot down by fighter jets in 1983, it was Reagan that decided that GPS should be declassified. GPS then moved from being a military only doodad to being accessible by the general public!

Additionally in 1996 Bill Clinton authorised the phasing out of selective availability. That’s the noise that’s injected into the signal to prevent it from being too accurate.

So a combination of Clinton and Reagan has meant that I can now locate my nearest McDonalds on my iPhone without batting an eyelid.

The other amazing fact is more of an epiphany.

At the end of Mr Blue Sky by ELO I always thought the robotic voice said ‘Mr Blue Sky’. No! I was wrong!

It actually says ‘please turn me over’, how mad is that? For the past twenty years I’ve thought it said ‘Mr Blue Sky’ and now I find out it says nothing of the kind.

Thing is, I now can’t hear anything other than ‘please turn me over’ no matter how hard I try.

My life is amazing isn’t it?

Actually No. This Is The Bottom Line

If John McCain becomes President of the United States Of America I will never go there so long as his administration is in power.

That my friends is promise.

John McCain is out of touch and Sarah Palin is a moron. Not the dream ticket I imagine running a super-power. I guess that means New York would be off my holiday list.

Then again, Tokyo wouldn’t kill me. Who wants a DSi?

This Is All I Will Say

Sarah Palin is astonishing. And I mean that.

The intelligent amongst you will realise what I mean by that I’m sure.

So without further ado, watch this…


Find more videos like this on The Spill.com Movie Community

Anybody confused as to my thoughts on the way I want the US elections to go?

Good.

By the way, SpillCrew rock. Nuff said.

Golden Grahams Petition

I think we all need to petition Nestlé to bring back Golden Grahams. It’s a travesty you can’t get them anymore.

You Say Pizza, I Say Pasta

It was with interest that I noticed today that Pizza Hut has become Pasta Hut. Weird, I thought. Best tweet it.

And tweet it I did.

Turns out everyone in the world seemed to know that Pizza Hut has rebranded to Pasta Hut as part of some promotional thing they’ve got going on. At least that’s what all my Twitter chums told me.

But wait! What’s this? A quick google seems to indicate that this may be a permanent rebranding exercise! At least this article from The Times would have me believe that to be the case.

It does beg the question though, why? What do they hope to achieve by retaining the the same style logo and the exact same restaurants by just changing the name. Even the font in the logo is the same.

Surely if, as The Times article suggest, they are trying to appeal to the middle classes they should have started anew, ditched the hut roof logo altogether and gone for something a little classier.

It just doesn’t work, they’re clearly trying to maintain a very dangerous course out there in the middle ground.

They want the unwashed, pizza chomping masses to still recognise that they’re, more or less, the same Meat Feast flogging chain they were before but at the same time let the yummy mummies, with their sad eyed children, know that, ‘Hey! We’re healthy now, look we do crayfish arrabiata!’.

I seem to recall that Bella Pasta became Bella Italia a few years back, didn’t seem to do them much good. Their food was still shit and the service still abominable. I once got served a 10″ pepperoni pizza with just eight pieces of pepperoni on it. The manager couldn’t offer me anymore as head office had decreed that eight pieces per pizza was the limit. Madness.

It looks like Pizza Hut are about to fall into the trap of believing that a lick of paint and a new menu will sort out all their problems. It won’t.

It’s not their logo I dislike, it’s not their name or the decor inside. It’s not even the menu, I happen to like the occasional Meat Feast and go there now and again to sample its greasy delights.

No, it’s none of that. It’s the staff I can’t stand. Any shit hole can be made bearable with the right staff. Ditch the students and the Saturday working school kids and get in proper staff for proper wages.

Mark my words the first high street, down market eatery that serves half way decent food and employs adults on good money won’t be able to keep people away.

That I promise.