Very shortly this site will be hosting a petition to bring back the finest cereal the world has ever known: Golden Grahams.
I urge you for patience, it may take a couple of days months, but when it gets here I want you to sign it.
I trust you will…
I forgot to mention, I got some really cool shit for my birthday.
First on the list is a scarf, a reet long multi coloured scarf, with matching skull cap. Of course that’s not all though. Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
I got an even cooler gift than that. I got a voucher.
For what? I hear you cry. For what?!
Well calm down my cherubs for I shall now impart to you what exactly it was the voucher was for.
It was for a day of Segway Rallying, just how cool is that?
I know, awesome isn’t it. Although I am slightly concerned by the photos on their site, the people on the Segways all look a bit, well, special needs.
Yay! It’s Dickerdoodle time!
Penny Arcade is running its/their Dickerdoodle competition again! I missed out on it last year, due to laziness and incomprehension but this year I want to win.
If any of you love me, you’ll help. We only have until December 8th, so if you even vaguely care about me and my bizarre inclinations you’ll rock up to my place on Saturday with ingredients and bake until your balls (or lady bits) turn blue.
So, are you in?
Except it didn’t.
My plan to renew my Wordpress installation and change my blog theme have gone proper wrong.
Primarily the version of Wordpress I’m using is out of date by several revisions, so an upgrade of that would have been good but (there’s always a but) the theme I’d chosen which is a K2 style, is broken under anything more modern than Wordpress 2.7.
So, to cut a long story short I’ve just fucked it off for now. The blog is working, sorta, and I’ve changed the Lightbox effect on images but I’ve still got a major job on my hands to get it properly sorted. Lots of admin to do.
I also want to get my One Year gallery centred on the page, but it’s proving a real bitch to do. Damn it.
So far outstanding jobs are:
I can’t think of anything else at the minute but it looks like these issues will have to wait until I take a break in January.
I’ve decided to retire this site.
It’s looking old and well past its best and as Restless Cheese said the other night, it’s a bit word heavy.
So, in order to revitalise www.crackerwax.com I’ve been fiddling with a test site.
Bear in mind it’s not finished and is only up there to give you a feel for the style I’m going for next.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
I’m sitting here in front of my Mac and I can’t think of a single thing to write, well apart from this thing about how I can’t think of anything to write.
Sometimes it feels like there’s too much to do and I’m paralysed by the choice available to me.
So I’m sitting here listening to Eels and lazily browsing the web.
So often do I end up sitting in stasis, unable to move, not going one way or the other for fear of missing something. Unable to even commit to watching a film, two hours is too much, I might miss something else.
Consequently I miss everything.
This is a mess isn’t it?
I feel compelled to complain to the BBC about the cruel mockery, in Fawlty Towers, of Spanish speaking migrant workers.
It is high time that the BBC prevented this sort of thing from happening in the past.
Clearly I would have complained at the time of broadcast back in 1975 but I was not aware of the outrage I would have felt, had I been watching it then, up until recently, when I saw a rerun on UK Gold.
From what I understand it was originally screened on BBC Two in the early evening. This is entirely unacceptable in my opinion.
I demand that the creator of this racist filth and anyone involved in its portrayal be executed and that the BBC pay Spain a fine of at least €1,000,000.
This is probably the only thing that would enable me to sleep at night knowing that racist, so called, ‘comedy’ like this had at some point been created.
What’s more Aubrey Singer, who I believe was controller of BBC Two at the time, should be exhumed and his corpse made to give a public apology.
Death cannot be tolerated as an excuse for allowing this sort of filth onto our television screens 33 years ago.
It is high time the BBC and its disgusting former performers and controllers realised that the very fabric of space and time itself is liable to rip apart should this sort of thing be allowed to happen at unspecified dates in the past.
It’s true. Today was a voyage of discovery for me that lead to my uncovering of two amazing gems.
The first is that we have Ronald Reagan to thank for GPS navigation! Well, a point of clarification perhaps, he didn’t invent it but he was responsible for allowing its use by civilians.
After a Korean Airlines flight got lost over Soviet territory and was shot down by fighter jets in 1983, it was Reagan that decided that GPS should be declassified. GPS then moved from being a military only doodad to being accessible by the general public!
Additionally in 1996 Bill Clinton authorised the phasing out of selective availability. That’s the noise that’s injected into the signal to prevent it from being too accurate.
So a combination of Clinton and Reagan has meant that I can now locate my nearest McDonalds on my iPhone without batting an eyelid.
The other amazing fact is more of an epiphany.
At the end of Mr Blue Sky by ELO I always thought the robotic voice said ‘Mr Blue Sky’. No! I was wrong!
It actually says ‘please turn me over’, how mad is that? For the past twenty years I’ve thought it said ‘Mr Blue Sky’ and now I find out it says nothing of the kind.
Thing is, I now can’t hear anything other than ‘please turn me over’ no matter how hard I try.
My life is amazing isn’t it?
If John McCain becomes President of the United States Of America I will never go there so long as his administration is in power.
That my friends is promise.
John McCain is out of touch and Sarah Palin is a moron. Not the dream ticket I imagine running a super-power. I guess that means New York would be off my holiday list.
Then again, Tokyo wouldn’t kill me. Who wants a DSi?
Sarah Palin is astonishing. And I mean that.
The intelligent amongst you will realise what I mean by that I’m sure.
So without further ado, watch this…
Find more videos like this on The Spill.com Movie Community
Anybody confused as to my thoughts on the way I want the US elections to go?
Good.
By the way, SpillCrew rock. Nuff said.
I recently announced that, thanks in no small part to his outstanding performance at the end of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, my goal for 2009 was to meet William Shatner.
Well no sooner had I announced this, than I had changed my mind and decided that a less prominent target should be attempted first. Almost like a bit of a warm up.
My new target was to be game writing legend Jeff Minter. My thinking being that Wales was easier to get to than California.
Well, I’ve come under heavy fire for this decision. So have opted to give the final say to my reader. So go on, vote away reader!
Loading …I should add that the original decision to stalk Shatner was undertaken whilst heavily intoxicated. Andy and I had had three bottles of red wine, the remains of a box of white and quite a few vodka and lemonades.
In fact Andy had originally pledged to under take this journey with me but I suspect my cherry-beer-fuelled take on Shatner’s famous speech had probably sent him funny.
As anyone who knows me will testify, my favourite activity, after having downed a few cherry beers, is to quote Captain Kirk’s immortal lines from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.
It was this one scene that last night, lead to a drunken conversation where it was decided that the goal for 2009 is to meet William Shatner.
I will be ruminating about how to go about doing this but all suggestions will be greatly received. First on the list though is the setting up of a Google alert for ‘William Shatner’.
I’ve always loved Clive James’ writing style. This just confirms what I’d always thought.
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