Very shortly this site will be hosting a petition to bring back the finest cereal the world has ever known: Golden Grahams.
I urge you for patience, it may take a couple of days months, but when it gets here I want you to sign it.
I trust you will…
Of course if you hadn’t you’d have missed a treat.
Fucking great isn’t it?
My Dad bought a Philips Video 2000 system in the early eighties. It came with a groovy little video that showed you how to use it, y’know program it and such.
The one abiding memory I have of this video is a little fella in a hat, that spoke gibberish and had the most amazing bendy fingertips. In fact I sometimes think I imagined the whole thing.
No more though! Now, thanks to the miracle of YouTube, I’ve found the actual video! Rejoice in its bizarre splendour.
Freaky, huh? Made all the more freaky by the weird alien thing that it makes you imagine actually starts your recordings when you’re out and the music towards the end (a cross between Jean Michel-Jarre and a bad trip in a fairground). Amazing stuff.
It looks like BT are flogging a whole series of tunnels underneath High Holborn in London. The asking price is unconfirmed but I bet it’s more than I could raise.
I love shit like this, it’s too cool for words. Can you imagine how amazing it would be if it was turned into a hotel or a night club?
It’s awesome to think that places like this even exist. It was built during the war, which is clear to see and has ended up, through privatisation, belonging to British Telecom. Now they’re selling it off.
As is mentioned in the Telegraph’s article it’s unlikely it will be turned into a hotel because of risks about fire evacuation and such but some enterprising individual could work out a way around that, surely?
It’s true. Today was a voyage of discovery for me that lead to my uncovering of two amazing gems.
The first is that we have Ronald Reagan to thank for GPS navigation! Well, a point of clarification perhaps, he didn’t invent it but he was responsible for allowing its use by civilians.
After a Korean Airlines flight got lost over Soviet territory and was shot down by fighter jets in 1983, it was Reagan that decided that GPS should be declassified. GPS then moved from being a military only doodad to being accessible by the general public!
Additionally in 1996 Bill Clinton authorised the phasing out of selective availability. That’s the noise that’s injected into the signal to prevent it from being too accurate.
So a combination of Clinton and Reagan has meant that I can now locate my nearest McDonalds on my iPhone without batting an eyelid.
The other amazing fact is more of an epiphany.
At the end of Mr Blue Sky by ELO I always thought the robotic voice said ‘Mr Blue Sky’. No! I was wrong!
It actually says ‘please turn me over’, how mad is that? For the past twenty years I’ve thought it said ‘Mr Blue Sky’ and now I find out it says nothing of the kind.
Thing is, I now can’t hear anything other than ‘please turn me over’ no matter how hard I try.
My life is amazing isn’t it?
We have though, yeah? If you haven’t it’s an experience you really ought to have had.
Your house mates (or room mates as our American cousins would have it) can really get on your tits. Whether they leave every utensil in the house covered in melted on, bright orange cheese, stroll around the house in only a towel or shit in the bathroom sink (true story, ask me about Nigel) we grow to hate those close to us in some way, at some point.
That’s why this YouTube video is so good.
Seemingly this guy’s house mate had been getting up early in the morning, going to college and slamming the door on his way out. Getting sick of this thoughtless behaviour our erstwhile auteur decided to enact a little revenge.
Roommate Revenge Buttered Floor - Watch more free videos
Priceless.
The night before Andy and Lou’s wedding saw myself and Andy at a loose end in New York. Consequently we ended up in Live Bait drinking beer. That was until we discovered the joys of frozen margaritas. In pints!
Nice!
As anyone who knows me will testify, my favourite activity, after having downed a few cherry beers, is to quote Captain Kirk’s immortal lines from Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.
It was this one scene that last night, lead to a drunken conversation where it was decided that the goal for 2009 is to meet William Shatner.
I will be ruminating about how to go about doing this but all suggestions will be greatly received. First on the list though is the setting up of a Google alert for ‘William Shatner’.
In order to prove how much like ELO, LEO are I present to you one of the choice cuts from their one and only album Alpacas Orgling.
You must agree it is a wee bit ELOish no?
For those not in the know a Segway can be best described as being the horse-less carriage version of the chariots they rode around in, in Ben Hur. It sounds freaky but it’s great fun, I suggest you try one at the first opportunity.
Sadly I didn’t manage to get a picture of myself on one, scooting around Bermuda on our Segway tour but let me tell you I want one.
Just thought you’d like to know.
Having been reminded of Yakety Sax (as made famous on the Benny Hill show) by a recent tweet, I decided to do a quick Google to see if it was available for download anywhere.
In the time it would take to slap a small bald man on the head a few times, I had discovered this gem on YouTube.
How’s that for a slice of fried gold?
Across The Universe is actually a fantastic film.
The Beatles were amazingly good at what they did. And what they did was write songs that transcended all space and time and became part of the collective subconscious.
Dr Robert, as played by Bono, is more than amazing. It’s perfect.
In fact, as far as I’m concerned, Across The Universe is one of the best musicals ever. Ever.
Go buy it for a fiver. Now!
I’ve always loved Clive James’ writing style. This just confirms what I’d always thought.
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