Archive for the 'Geeky Stuff' Category

The Ten Best Games Ever Made

This is very simple but I thought you needed to know. Here they are in no particular order the ten best games ever made.

  • Metal Gear Solid (PlayStation)
  • Ico (PlayStation 2)
  • Shadow Of The Colossus (PlayStation 2)
  • Resident Evil 4 (Gamecube)
  • Wizball (Commodore 64)
  • Pac-Man Championship Edition (Xbox 360)
  • Burnout Paradise (PlayStation 3)
  • The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time (Nintendo 64)
  • Puzzle Quest: Challenge Of The Warlords (Nintendo DS)
  • Super Mario World (Super Nintendo)

Actually there is an order but only very slight Resident Evil 4 is at the top and Ico comes just after it, the rest are all joint third.

For information Bubble Bobble just missed out on being included and if I’m honest I’d be tempted to swap out Wizball for it but I just had to have a Commodore 64 title in there somewhere.

In the next couple of weeks I’m going to start writing little essays about all those games, so don’t make any plans will you?

Twitter And The Cult Of Celebrity

I joined Twitter about a year ago and used to really enjoy using it, making the occasional little update here and there, reading my friends updates, engaging in some funny banter, that sort of thing.

Then the celebrities arrived.

The sheer volume of tweets that the likes of Jonathan Ross and Stephen Fry post is ridiculous. When you’re reading your Twitter feed on an iPhone and out of all the updates you get ninety five percent of them come from Jonathan Ross and each of those is in reply to some unseen comment, then you get really bored, really quickly.

The Twitter-shitters are one thing but at least they’re funny and/or interesting. It’s when the boring, band wagon jumpers get on board that you have to start worrying. Enter Chris Moyles self styled saviour of Radio One.

Chris Moyles is the least amusing man on the planet but, as I am certain he would point out to me, he does earn way more money than me. I’m fairly certain he’d follow that keen observation up with something about my poxy blog and lack of a breakfast radio show. I guess it’s these two things that makes him think people care about what he has to say.

His show bores me, he bores me and I’m really not interested in anything he has to say so why would I want his boorish, obnoxious musings when I’m on the move? Not only that but everytime he says twittering instead of tweeting (which he does a fair amount on the half hour monologue he does every fucking morning) he’s getting it wrong. No surprise there though is there?

The long and short of it is that I’m going off Twitter, where I was once a staunch advocate. Still I intend to keep tweeting just a little bit longer just to see what happens, I’ve removed all the celebs though, well except Stephen Fry, how could I?

Poor Dom

There’s a cutscene I came across in Gears Of War 2 the other day that’s rather moving.

Dom’s wife has been missing for sometime, when he hears news that she may have been taken by the Locust he sets about, with Marcus’ help, trying to find her.

And he does find her.

I thought it was all rather sad and full of pathos.

Video 2000!

My Dad bought a Philips Video 2000 system in the early eighties. It came with a groovy little video that showed you how to use it, y’know program it and such.

The one abiding memory I have of this video is a little fella in a hat, that spoke gibberish and had the most amazing bendy fingertips. In fact I sometimes think I imagined the whole thing.

No more though! Now, thanks to the miracle of YouTube, I’ve found the actual video! Rejoice in its bizarre splendour.

Freaky, huh? Made all the more freaky by the weird alien thing that it makes you imagine actually starts your recordings when you’re out and the music towards the end (a cross between Jean Michel-Jarre and a bad trip in a fairground). Amazing stuff.

My Underground Bunker Inches Closer

It looks like BT are flogging a whole series of tunnels underneath High Holborn in London. The asking price is unconfirmed but I bet it’s more than I could raise.

I love shit like this, it’s too cool for words. Can you imagine how amazing it would be if it was turned into a hotel or a night club?

Underground snooker club?

It’s awesome to think that places like this even exist. It was built during the war, which is clear to see and has ended up, through privatisation, belonging to British Telecom. Now they’re selling it off.

Them's big tunnels.

As is mentioned in the Telegraph’s article it’s unlikely it will be turned into a hotel because of risks about fire evacuation and such but some enterprising individual could work out a way around that, surely?

Stalking!

I recently announced that, thanks in no small part to his outstanding performance at the end of Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, my goal for 2009 was to meet William Shatner.

Well no sooner had I announced this, than I had changed my mind and decided that a less prominent target should be attempted first. Almost like a bit of a warm up.

My new target was to be game writing legend Jeff Minter. My thinking being that Wales was easier to get to than California.

Well, I’ve come under heavy fire for this decision. So have opted to give the final say to my reader. So go on, vote away reader!

Who should I stalk in 2009?

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I should add that the original decision to stalk Shatner was undertaken whilst heavily intoxicated. Andy and I had had three bottles of red wine, the remains of a box of white and quite a few vodka and lemonades.

In fact Andy had originally pledged to under take this journey with me but I suspect my cherry-beer-fuelled take on Shatner’s famous speech had probably sent him funny.

Bill Gates: Comedy Genius

Have you seen the new Microsoft adverts, featuring former Microsoft CEO William Henry Gates III and comedian Jerome Allen Seinfeld? They’re actually rather amusing.

Fuck knows what the point of them is, they do seem to be entirely without point, but nevertheless they are still rather amusing.

Have a watch. Part one:

Part two:

Let’s just hope they’re not another Lost and we end up watching them for years, not quite knowing what the hell they’re about!

Oh and just one more thing. Note the really rather cool use, in the first clip, of the mugshot from Gates’ 1977 bust in New Mexico for running a stop sign and driving without a license. Neat.

Apple Say Let’s Rock! I Say That Ain’t Rock Motherfucker?

So the Apple event has been and gone and with it my faith in Apple. What the fuck was that about?

My predictions proved very hit and miss, primarily because it was so short.

  1. iPod Touch redesigned to have physical volume control, possibly built in speaker
    Victory is mine! Correct
  2. iPod Touch range repriced, possible introduction of 64GB model
    A little bit wrong with that one, half a point
  3. New iPod Nano design with widescreen
    Correct again, but an obvious one really
  4. Possible bump in capacity of 160GB iPod Classic, 80GB to remain
    I would never have predicted a downgrade!
  5. iPhone/iPod Touch firmware 2.1 released
    This was touch and go but right nonetheless
  6. iTunes 8.0 released, introduction of a subscription service sadly unlikely
    Good guess!
  7. Mac Mini possibly dropped from the Mac range
    Given the title of the gig I should have guessed, no Mac news
  8. New MacBooks introduced
    See above, October for this now I think
  9. iPod Shuffle to receive storage boost to 4GB
    Just plain wrong

4½ out of 9 isn’t bad, probably enough to get an A at A-level these days.

The actual content of the announcement was wank though. ‘New Nanos!’. Yay! Hardware! In lot’s of colours, now we’re talking.

‘The iPod Touch now has volume controls and a wee speaker!’. Good, ok, I can wait for the cool shit.

‘iTunes 8.0 with Genius’. Hmm, yes ok.

‘We’ve decided to downgrade the iPod classic range from 160GB to 120GB!’. Hang on? What?! Eh?

‘Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Johnson!’. Ah-ha, so here we go a bit of Jack and then it’s the one-more-thing announcement!

‘Bye.’. What? Eh?

Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?

Apple Say Let’s Rock! I Say How Hard?

It’s less than twenty four hours until Apple make their latest announcement.

As ever I proffer up my predictions on the content of their Keynote.

  1. iPod Touch redesigned to have physical volume control, possibly built in speaker
  2. iPod Touch range repriced, possible introduction of 64GB model
  3. New iPod Nano design with widescreen
  4. Possible bump in capacity of 160GB iPod Classic, 80GB to remain
  5. iPhone/iPod Touch firmware 2.1 released
  6. iTunes 8.0 released, introduction of a subscription service sadly unlikely
  7. Mac Mini possibly dropped from the Mac range
  8. New MacBooks introduced
  9. iPod Shuffle to receive storage boost to 4GB

I’m usually completely wrong with these sort of things but it I would say that iTunes is a dead cert, as is the new Nano and the increased capacity Shuffle.

Of course all of this will undoubtedly result in me being parted from my cash at some point down the line, although I don’t need any more iPods I think a nice little aluminium MacBook might be nice.

Rescue On Fractalus

On numerous occasions I’ve considered posting videos on YouTube. After seeing and hearing this I’ve decided that severe quality control is required before such an endeavour is undertaken.

Charismatic, huh?

Segways Rock!

For those not in the know a Segway can be best described as being the horse-less carriage version of the chariots they rode around in, in Ben Hur. It sounds freaky but it’s great fun, I suggest you try one at the first opportunity.

Sadly I didn’t manage to get a picture of myself on one, scooting around Bermuda on our Segway tour but let me tell you I want one.

Just thought you’d like to know.

Three Weeks With The iPhone 3G

Three weeks ago today I queued up outside Carphone Warehouse at a ridiculous time in the morning, coffee in hand, to collect my shiny new 16GB iPhone 3G.

The doors opened at 08:02 and we all filed in to dutifully hand over our £159 to pick up our iPhones. If only it were that easy.

The queue outside was tolerable, good natured chatter and coffee make things tolerable, it was when I got inside that the pain began. O2’s systems crashed almost immediately leaving me unable to have either a credit check or a proof of address check.

All of this lead to me standing in the shop for over three hours while they repeatedly tried to verify that I lived where I said I did and that I’d be able to pay the bills.

I got it though, obviously, and I’ve been using it for the past three weeks. I have a number of observations about it.

I’d never really fancied the first iPhone, I don’t like to be an early adopter of consumer electronics they’re normally bug ridden or prototypes in need of refinement (Nintendo DS?). So I generally wait for version 2.0 or 3.0 wherever possible, that’s what I did here.

There are lots of pros and cons to owning an iPhone though.

Pros

  1. It’s a beautiful piece of design
  2. The screen is a delight to use, high resolution and bright
  3. It’s also covered in scratch proof glass
  4. Everyone’s writing applications for it
  5. It has built in GPS, fast GPS
  6. 16GB of storage is great, enough for a couple of movies and a lot of music
  7. It has a very well designed OS
  8. Visual voicemail is superbly implemented
  9. The mail client is very usable
  10. MobileMe synchronisation is fantastic
  11. The ringer is turned off by a physical switch

Cons

  1. Battery life is terrible, three hours of full use is not enough
  2. The camera only outputs 1600 x 1200
  3. It has no flash
  4. It doesn’t do video
  5. The keyboard is plagued by lag
  6. Safari crashes more often than a hypoglycaemic dieter
  7. So do a lot of the other apps
  8. The phone’s contact list takes forever to load
  9. Sometimes calls don’t connect and all you get is crackle and noise (O2?)
  10. The 3G signal quality varies wildly
  11. Ringtones have to be created, you can’t just use an MP3
  12. Sometimes it just locks up
  13. The camera requires a screen touch to take a photo, making it very easy to drop
  14. No cut and paste

That’s a lot of negative points but I still think it’s the best phone I’ve ever owned. Aside perhaps from the battery life none of the points raised are particularly unfixable and I’m certain that they will be fixed at some point in a firmware update.

The battery life is the biggest stickler though, it’s just too poor to be acceptable. If I watch a movie on my way to work (a journey of twenty five minutes) I’m down to about 70% battery life by the time I get to work. If I make a couple of phone calls during the day, maybe browse a few websites and send some tweets, by three o’clock I’m out of juice.

That really is unacceptable.

My old Nokia 6021 last about two weeks on standby admittedly they’re very different beasts but I still expect more than three hours talk time or a days standby from a phone.

All in all though I standby my love for the iPhone, it is an amazing piece of technology that ten years ago would have been impossible. I can just about overlook the battery life issues with careful placement of chargers and all the really cool stuff it does makes up for it.

Roll on firmware 2.1. That will be the true test of Apple’s commitment to the cell phone market.