crackerwax

Another week and another ridiculous overblown hoo-hah in the press about some poor sod or other.

This week it’s the turn of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross to be on the receiving end of the tabloid press’ moral indignation. How journalists can consider themselves moral is beyond me, still that’s a rant for another day.

As you are no doubt aware by now, given that it’s the top story on every news channel at the moment (wonder if Al Jazeera have covered it?), Russell Brand had Jonathan Ross on his Radio 2 show and they left Andrew Sachs a series of rather misjudged and ill advised answer phone messages.

The gist of it is that Andrew Sachs was due to give an interview on Brand’s show but for one reason or another when he was called they got his answer phone, Brand being Brand and Ross being Ross this lead to an ideal opportunity for a spot of tomfoolery. Let’s be honest though it’s kind of what you expect from a stand up comic who hosts a radio show, we’re not talking about Jimmy Young here are we?

Unfortunately the message got out of hand very quickly and three things happened.

1. Ross said ‘fucked’.
2. It was made clear that Brand had slept with Sach’s granddaughter.
3. An impromptu and bawdy song was sung about the liaison into Sach’s answer phone.

I happened to hear it live and whilst I didn’t think it was the funniest thing I’d ever heard, I didn’t think it was anything that anyone should have lost their job over.

Of course the media being the media were falling over themselves to expose Brand for the filthmongering, sex obsessed, junkie scum bag he so clearly is. I half expect to wake up and read calls for Ross to have his tongue cut out and for Brand to be castrated!

So far the result of all this has been:

• Russell Brand has resigned.
• Lesley Douglas has resigned as controller of Radio 2.
• Jonathan Ross has been suspended for 12 weeks.
• Gordon Brown has made a statement about it.
• Amazingly, despite the answer phone message, the world still continues to spin on its axis.

That the show only garnered two complaints at the time of its broadcast, yet has since received over 37,000, stands as testament to the media circus that has developed. Of course most of that can be attributed to the Mail On Sunday’s front page article about it. I think the very fact that only 0.00003% of complaints were received from actual listeners speaks volumes.

Meanwhile Georgina Baillie, the outraged granddaughter in question (you’ll probably know her best as Voluptua from the Satanic Sluts), is rubbing her hands in anticipation of the deals she’ll receive as a result of the publicity.

Judging by the number of videos of her on the news sites already (every one of them with her droning on about how outraged she is, whilst at the same time maintaining her doe eyed, smoky makeup, big-titted temptress look), she’s milking it for every last drop.

All the publicity seems like quite a good return on her initial investment of letting Brand fuck her because he was famous. Of course her new line is that,

I will be speaking to him [Sachs] to ask whether we should complain to the police and we’ll be making the decision as a family.

Oh come on! Let’s put this in perspective, no one died nothing in that call was malicious, stupid yes, malicious no. Is this the best use of police time? Do you think the CPS should even entertain this?

What’s more all of Baillie’s comments around the event are so hollow it’s unbelievable. That they’re being given any form of credence at all astonishes me! The best I’ve come across so far is this belter on the news that Brand and Ross had been suspended.

I’m really happy with the investigation. Me and my grandad are both really happy because it could have damaged our reputation permanently.

Sorry love? Your reputation? What reputation would this be? Your reputation as a woman who flashes her flange for money? Is that the reputation you concerned about damaging?

Please.

I do have a great deal of sympathy for Andrew Sachs, it wasn’t a nice message, I wouldn’t have liked to receive it. At the end of it all though everyone has admitted it was stupid and apologised for it, on top of which Sachs has accepted the apologies. There is no reason for this to be getting the attention it is.

The call that’s causing the outrage is transcribed after the jump if you fancy reading it.
Continue reading ‘Brand And Ross: Enemies Of The People’