Lisa Williams is self-styled clairvoyant who parades around on a show called Lisa Williams: Life Among The Dead, solving people’s spirit problems and helping them communicate with the departed. She’s a piece of work and no mistaking, watch that clip to hear all about her amazing, ahem, gift.

She never wanted a TV series. Yeah, right.

As a clairvoyant it is Lisa’s unique gift, wink, wink, to be able to feel the dead around her. Of course when we say feel we mean react theatrically to unseen hands and make vague statements regarding the probable cause of death or the location that a body was found in.

Make no mistake this is a genuine and unique psychic ability she’s displaying, in no way is it prior research. No sir.

Ok, yes, clearly it’s research. There is no afterlife.

The reason it’s so convincing to the poor stooges though, is because – in the case of murders and deaths where the bodies are left at the crime scene – you can get all the juicy details you require for your act from the police and/or coroner’s reports, thereby appearing astoundingly, dare I say, spookily, accurate!

On the other hand in those cases where a body was never found or the, ahem, spirit is from long ago, who’s going to be able to dispute what you say? Nice scam!

What really makes this so horrible though, is that after describing horrendous deaths, making lots of weird concentration faces and generally putting the wind up the poor gullible people she’s supposed to be helping, she’ll do a piece to camera where she makes glib comments like, ‘I don’t know how they’re going to sleep here tonight.’ before grinning to camera like the Cheshire bloody cat.

Quite honestly by the time she’s finished winding someone up, I’d be surprised if they ever slept again.

Simply put, she’s praying on people like some sort of psychic cowboy plumber, look at the exchange below. This is a verbatim transcript of her response to someone that has just described how guests freak out after hearing knocking and scraping noises in her hotel.

Lisa: You would need someone like myself to come in and totally cleanse it and clear that person over, help them pass themselves, them over. That is not a five minute job. 307, the one…

Monica (hotelier): nods The decapitation and the…

Lisa: The one with the decapitation and everything? Yeah, the problem is that you’re dealing with a very reluctant and strong willed spirit, so it would take a while.

I half expected her to suck air through her teeth and ask for a tea with eight sugars.

Ironically, if they actually did want to get rid of the knocking and scraping noises a plumber would probably be a better bet than Lisa Williams.

Look folks sorry to break it to you once again but when you die you’re dead. There’s no nondescript ethereal place where you will play with all your other dead friends in perfect harmony. Though if you choose to believe there is that’s fine, if it makes you happy great, just don’t get taken in by charlatans like this, they’re scum.